If you have been wondering why you have not been able to get your woman aroused in recent time, then these tips are for you.
Last weekend my boyfriend and I were hanging out, working our way
through a six-pack of lager, when he started to clean the inside of a
vintage amplifier. As I watched him polish the delicate glass tubes,
tighten minuscule screws, and run his fingertips among a network of
wires, I felt a familiar weakness between my legs.
Those hands. The mere sight of them working touched off deep
memories: in backseats, on blankets, in dark hallways, the first
thrilling times with a guy. Ever since I was old enough to grope and be
groped, a man’s hands have been an exhilarating turn-on.
Lots of women feel the same. The sad thing is, we don’t get this
nostalgic (and reliable) treatment nearly as often as we’d like. Men
over the age of 18 tend to dip their fingers for two reasons: 1) as a
brief transition between dry humping and intercourse, and 2) to find out
if our juices are flowing.
We want more. We want you to explore like an awestruck teenager
again, to rub, tickle, circle, and probe in dozens of ways, under a
variety of circumstances. Allow me to, um, take you by the hand.
1. The Car
Strategy: A 30-mile tease, then 360s
Why it works: It’s slow and semipublic.
Special equipment: Automatic transmission
A road trip is worth the price of gas if I can lie back and soak up
the attentions of the driver’s right hand. You should focus on the
road.
We have nothing but time, so take things slowly—this is what we
love. For the length of an average song (perhaps “Slow Hand” by the
Pointer Sisters?), glide your hand languidly up and down her thigh,
coming closer to her crotch with every upstroke. Then slide your hand up
and let your palm rest on her pubic mound. Keep it there. Take in the
scenery. Look at that barn. Mm-hmm. Nice.
True, you have no leverage. This limits you to gentle touching. We
love gentle touching. A featherlight stroke over our pants or panties
makes our nerves stand on end. Resist the urge to delve deeper.
Instead, alternate between lightly stroking her entire crotch and
circling her clitoral area with a fingertip. (Okay, it’s about time for
her pants to come off. And maybe, uh, park—over there, now.) Once she’s
naked from the waist down, lightly slide a wet finger around her
clitoris, then stroke just above it (her clitoral shaft runs under
there) with a side-to-side motion. If it seems like she might climax,
just keep it up. You’ll get your turn.
2. A Dark Lounge
Strategy: A digital lap dance
Why it works: The music, the beer, the risk.
Special equipment: A skirt
A shadowy corner of a swank lounge is the grown-up version of a
basement during high school. Here’s one place where making out in public
is condoned, if not encouraged. Kiss her neck, nibble her ear, and
engage in deep, wet kisses while stroking her lower back and sliding
your hands through her hair.
Invite her to sit on your lap sideways with her legs crossed. Slide
your hand under her butt and between her thighs. It’s a tight fit, but
apply slow, pulsing pressure to her clitoris or just above to get the
blood flowing. Achieving orgasm is a long shot, but being touched
intimately in a crowded bar, with music blasting, a cold beer in hand,
and your warm breath on the back of her neck, is a thrill that lasts—and
will continue at home.
3. The Shower
Strategy: All-body slipperiness
Why it works: She sets the pace.
Special equipment: Shampoo, soap
The pillars of female orgasm are rhythm and pressure, which is why
we love to climb on top and sort of take over. One of the best ways to
replicate that is only possible in the shower, with you providing a
sudsy forearm as a hobbyhorse for her to ride on.
But hold on, cowboy. Just because you’re both already hot and wet
doesn’t mean she doesn’t need foreplay. I’m sure I’m not the first woman
to tell you how sexy it feels to have our hair washed by a man.
Massaging shampoo into her scalp will release tension and allow her to
focus on her body instead of her to-do list. After rinsing out her
tresses, suds her up from head to toe. A hypoallergenic soap like Dove
won’t irritate her sensitive nooks and crannies. Spend ample time on her
shoulders, breasts, bottom, and thighs.
Rub her pubic mound in a circular motion with one hand and massage
her bottom with the other. When her head tilts with pleasure, reach
between her legs and slide your fore-arm back and forth over her entire
vulva. Encourage her to move against your arm. Ultimately, she’ll take
over, setting the pace and pressure she needs to reach her peak.
4. An Uncrowded Plane
Strategy: The stealth reach-around
Why it works: It’s how she does it.
Special equipment: A blanket
Please forget the mile-high club. A jet’s bathroom is dirty,
cramped, and smelly. Much sexier—and easier to talk her into—is the
high-altitude hand job, assuming you have a row to yourself. Raise the
armrest and drape the blanket over the two of you. Wait for the lights
to go down and the movie to start.
Have her lean back into the crook of your shoulder. She’ll “read a
magazine” as you slip your arm around her waist, under the blanket and
between her legs. An over-the-clothes rub is a vintage sensation that’s
worked since she became aware of boys.
Rest your fingertips on top of her pubic mound. Exert medium
pressure with all four fingers, alternately rubbing up and down over her
clitoris and massaging with slow, circular motions. Many women
masturbate in exactly this fashion, so there’s a good chance she’ll
achieve maximum altitude.
5. The Couch
Strategy: Precision petting and probing
Why it works: Nothing feels better.
Special equipment: Your tongue
As you watch TV, give her a foot rub that gradually becomes a calf
rub and then a thigh massage. By the time your hand is between her legs,
the television should be off and your lips should be on hers. Raise her
shirt and kiss her stomach, then head south while working her jeans off
her hips. Softly kiss her pubic mound until your tongue reaches her
clitoris. That’s right, your hands get help here—don’t argue: A recent
Australian study found that an oral-manual combination is the surest
path to her orgasm. Slip a pillow under her butt and ease her thighs to
either side.
Many women prefer to be stimulated on one side of—or just above—the
clitoris. Rub gently in different spots, asking what she likes best.
Insert the index finger of your other hand just inside her vagina and
leave it there as you continue to attend to her clitoris. Alternate
between oral sex and this two-handed technique until you find out which
move makes her crazier than any other.
